tl;dr Sam was meant to be running this for Home-Start but an overly friendly Labrador headbutted her leg and now she can't walk good (she'll be fine). Ben (the absolute hero) is picking up the slack and will now be running it on her behalf. Feel free to nominate him for the Person of the Year, and other such awards. But only after you donate!
A longer version
Even though I didn't sign up to it or train for it, I'll now be running the Oxford Half Marathon. In a lovely purple woman's vest.
It's for an awesome cause, Home-Start Banbury, who support struggling families. With rising fuel costs, increasing food and clothing prices, sky-high childcare and a government filled with imbeciles, halfwits and utter cretins to make things worse, families need the help more than ever.
This was meant to be Sam's race to run though. I was meant to sitting in a bar and a cheering as she ran by. That was, until the local pig farmers' Labrador headbutted her in the knee and now she can't really walk, let alone run. I know, it sounds like a fib on a scale with 'a dog ate my homework', but it did happen.
Sam now can't run for at least 3 months. (The dog was fine, I think its head was made by steel.)
Anyway, back to me. The real hero in this story. The saviour. I'll be running it, as mentioned, in a lovely purple women's vest. Wish me luck and please give whatever you can to Home-Start.
Love Sam & Ben (and the Labrador)