My name is Kuba, for my 30th birthday, I am recording myself doing flips every day to raise some money for Men's Minds Matter. 1 flip per day for 30 days.
I am doing this for my 30th birthday as even 2 years ago I didn't believe that I was going to make it anywhere near my 30th year on this planet. I had days when I didn't see the future past the next months, weeks or even days.
I've struggled with depression for probably more than 10 years, getting into more or less the lowest points at which thoughts about ending my life were pretty common. Some years were great and felt amazing, others brought me down so low and didn't believe I'd ever pick myself up again.
At this point, I think we all know how staggering are the stats around male suicide. Like it's really fucking bad. I am pretty sure that everyone who watches this knows at least one person who had suicidal thoughts within the last week.
I had someone in my family who took his own life, I had people in my family attempting suicide, I have friends who attempted it, I have friends whose family members and friends killed themselves. There were times when the scale could have tipped a bit further, and I'd be on that list too.
Let's talk, reach out to your mates. there is no shame in feeling absolutely fucking miserable, there is no shame in feeling that you don't want to be here anymore.
Shame thrives in secrecy, judgment and silence. It dies when we talk and show each other empathy.
I wish you had spoken before
I've spoken to someone the other day
They were in so much pain
They wished someone had taken it away
Their life fell apart once again
Though it seemed like nothing major had happened in their life
They were dying a slow death as if stabbed by the smallest knife
They didn't say anything at all
But I could see them whole
No words were spoken, their eyes said it all
I've seen that they must have taken a fall
They wished they weren't here anymore
I wished they had spoken about it before
Kuba
