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By the end of December I will learn the guitar and sing a song at a local music night.
Now, more than ever, it is integral that I find and do the things that relax me and make me smile. Over the coming months I will be going through IVF to hopefully create our magic science baby. It will not be an easy journey and I have a lot of fear associated with it. Focusing on guitar and singing and the sense of peace that it gives me will I hope help keep me sane as people poke and prod me in incredibly invasive ways.
Why singing?
When I was a teenager, I loved to sing. I was in the choir and jazz choir. I especially loved singing jazz. I appeared confident but was in fact a shy young lady and often felt a bit awkward and unsure.
But when I sang, something inside of me came alive. I knew what I was 'meant' to do and I was even keen to perform on stage! The more I sang, the better I could hear my voice get and the more confident I got. I felt 'at home' when I sang and I even managed to get a musical award in my graduating year.
After highschool I stopped singing and focused on playing varsity soccer. In my second year I decided to try out for one of the choirs at the university. On trial day I had a cold....I was horrible and needless to say I didn't get in. I was gutted.
So, I asked for a guitar for christmas. I thought that if I learned how to play it then I could accompany myself and sing again. I used YouTube to teach myself the basics but got stuck and frustrated. I didn't want to be good, I wanted to be great. And it was hard so I stopped. That was 9 years ago now...
And there's something missing in my life.
Now, I realise that singing isn't about winning the X Factor. It's about sharing a part of me and feeling at peace.
Money raised is part of The Impossibles Challenge at The You Can Hub. It will support our work helping others of all abilities achieve their Impossible. www.theyoucanhub.org.uk/theimpossibles
