Being rubbish at 3 sports at the same time

On 19 May, when the rest of you will no doubt be watching the royal wedding, I am taking part in what is euphemistically called a "sprint" triathlon: this one, in fact - http://humanrace.co.uk/event/eton-supersprint-saturday/. As it happens, just down the road from the big event of the day. Despite not having the physique (or, come to think of it, the commitment, talent, drive or fitness level) of the Brownlee brothers, I have foolishly signed up to a 750 m open water swim, followed by a 21.5 km bike ride (I don't even own a bike, but am borrowing one off a friend) and a 5 km run. I confidently predict that no actual sprinting will be involved. I have been doing a lot of training and, on Easter Monday, completed the full thing (albeit in the gym) in under 2 hours. That's my goal for the day itself. Last year (see photo; for those fortunate enough not to have met me, I am the broken man on the left and not the smug and cheery squash coach on the right), people kindly helped me raise money (so that the Edgbaston Priory ladies squash team could successfully defend their European title) in a Tough Mudder. This year, it is an even better cause - the Albrighton Trust (https://albrightontrust.org.uk/index.php?p=home). This is a fantastic charity in the West Midlands that gives recreational and educational opportunities to people with disabilities. I am a trustee and so know first-hand how much we need to raise funds and the inspirational things we can do with any money received. Times are tough and money is tight. I would really welcome any donation, however small, to help encourage me on my way. You never know, your kindness might mean I can manage a sprint.