On Sunday 21 April, I will attempt the Virtual London Marathon, 26.2 miles, in memory of my partner, Heather who died by suicide in Nov 2022, aged 38.
I would like to raise awareness & funds for the “Tomorrow Project”, a local charity that helped me deal with the trauma of losing Heather, my partner for 14 years.
I received clinical support from “The Tomorrow Project” & being honest, without their professional support, I don’t think I’d be here today. They provided a safe place for me to speak about the trauma & devastation a loss by suicide leaves behind. PAM Assist (employee assistance program) & Cruse Bereavement could not help because I needed a suicide specialist.
Finding Heather at home & dealing with the trauma & losing your partner by suicide is especially difficult, and unless you’ve experienced it or been impacted by it, is impossible to understand. The endless unanswered questions, the whys, what ifs, if only, guilt etc.
In November 2022, £2500 was raised for the Samaritans. They are also the official charity for this year’s London Marathon & will receive lots of support. This is why I have chosen a lesser-known charity. As we know, there is a lack of funding for mental health organisations & waiting lists for these services are far too long. This challenge is my opportunity to give something back for the help that I have received.
Heather was funny, loving, supportive, sociable, caring, a woman often described as “beautiful, inside and out” and she would be the first one to help someone in need. Her death was such a shock to everyone who knew her. She is greatly missed.
I’m aware suicide is a topic most people are uncomfortable with, often spoken in hushed tones, or the family secret & unfortunately the stigma remains. This needs to change. We need to remind ourselves to be kind to each other. Our words and our behaviour with others have an impact.
My final note is if you can be anything in this world ...be kind.
